The scientifically advanced bot Friends-O-Matic 2000 (powered by Botnik technology) has watched dozens of hours of the popular sitcom, analysed the data and generated its own script. See for yourself what the electronic brain makes of the antics of Joey, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Monica as they navigate life and love as twenty-somethings in New York City. Will the machine learning algorithm pick up on the nuances of witty banter, snappy dialogue and comedic timing that we’ve come to associate with Friends? Or does that level of creativity require a human touch? Let’s find out…
“The One Where Ross Geller Is So Silly”
MONICA’S APARTMENT – DAY
MONICA, RACHEL and CHANDLER are in the kitchen.
JOEY enters and grabs a bag of peanuts from the kitchen table.
(to the peanuts)
Dude Tribbiani says hello, Mr Salty Sir!
ROSS enters, wearing fake breasts.
Joey drops the peanuts in shock.
Oh my god. Look at ’em.
Awful boobies on you.
Ross bends over to pick up a peanut from the floor, exposing himself.
Whoa dad bum.
Ross Geller’s underwear purifier is just mean.
Ross glares at Chandler.
Hey, Ross just glares at me.
You wanna punch me?
Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn’t eat soup!
Oh my god!
Honey, y’know, Ross is allergic to lobster and Ross is married to the drums.
Oh my monkey!
Chandler looks out of the window at Ugly Naked Guy.
Well this guy smells incredible. Oh yeah man.
Monica joins Chandler at the window.
Oh boy that guy is really strong. Yeah baby. He works in a sexy room for all womankind. Limited seating though.
(muttering under his breath)
Ugly Naked Guy is scum.
I think I should shave again. Because tomorrow night Rachel and I are getting married. I know she’s crazy and jealous, yeah, but Pottery Barn is so amazing.
Ross sits on the couch.
Hey Rach, calm down next to me. I am totally flirting.
Maybe it’s awkward because you love that Japanese place.
Oh yeah, I guess that place looks like mom.
PHOEBE enters, upset.
Well, umm, grandma died today. She gasps really nice.
I am sorry sweetie, it was just a misunderstanding. She was hot. Yeah that whole weekend we were drunk and she just gave me a big age difference. Goodbye to the woman.
Ross stands and casually saunters out of the apartment.
Oh God Ross exits. Ross is so cruel.
END OF ACT ONE